Trauma Therapist Atlanta on Gaslighting: Why You Start Doubting Your Own Reality
As a trauma therapist in Atlanta, I often hear clients say things like, “Maybe I’m just overreacting,” or “I can’t tell if it’s me or if something’s really off.” If you’ve ever felt this way in a relationship—confused, second-guessing yourself, constantly trying to “be better” while the other person avoids accountability—there’s a good chance you’ve experienced gaslighting.
Gaslighting is more than a buzzword. It’s a form of emotional manipulation used to make someone question their thoughts, feelings, and even sanity. And for survivors of trauma or those with attachment wounds, it can feel especially destabilizing. It chips away at your sense of self until you’re not sure what’s real anymore.
Let’s talk about what gaslighting really is, how to recognize it, and what trauma therapy in Atlanta can offer if you’re trying to find your footing again.
What Is Gaslighting?
Gaslighting is a form of psychological abuse where someone intentionally distorts reality to confuse or control you. It often starts subtly: a partner who says, “I never said that” (even though you clearly remember them saying it), or a parent who accuses you of being too sensitive every time you express hurt. Over time, it can escalate into persistent denial of your lived experiences, rewriting history, and isolating you from sources of support.
At its core, gaslighting is about power. The gaslighter wants control, and they use confusion as a tool to get it. You begin to question your memory, your intuition, and eventually your worth.
And if you have a history of trauma, especially from childhood or previous toxic relationships, you may be more vulnerable to gaslighting. When your sense of safety has already been compromised, someone undermining your perception of reality can feel like a fresh wound on top of an old scar.
How to Identify a Gaslighter?
Gaslighters don’t always look like villains. They often come off as charming, confident, or even well-meaning. But the pattern is consistent: they manipulate you into questioning your own reality. Here are some signs you might be dealing with gaslighting:
They deny things you know happened. You bring up something hurtful they said, and they respond with, “That never happened,” or “You’re imagining things.”
They minimize your emotions. When you express hurt or concern, they accuse you of being too sensitive, too emotional, or dramatic.
They rewrite the past. They twist previous events in a way that makes you seem unreasonable or unstable, even if you were calm and thoughtful at the time.
They shift the blame. You find yourself apologizing constantly, even when you haven’t done anything wrong.
You feel confused or crazy. You second-guess everything, even things you used to feel sure about. You no longer trust your own memory, perception, or feelings.
Gaslighting thrives in silence and self-doubt. That’s why naming it is a powerful first step in reclaiming your reality.
How Do I Shut Down a Gaslighter?
Shutting down a gaslighter isn’t easy, especially if they’re someone close to you. But it is possible to protect your peace and rebuild your inner clarity. Here are some trauma-informed strategies to help:
Start by grounding yourself. If someone is trying to destabilize your sense of reality, return to your body. Slow your breathing. Feel your feet on the floor. Anchor yourself in the present moment.
Write things down. Keep a journal or record of events, conversations, or how you felt. It helps you stay connected to the truth and notice patterns over time.
Set firm boundaries. You’re allowed to say, “I don’t accept being spoken to that way,” or, “I’m not going to keep having this conversation when you deny my experience.”
Don’t try to convince them. Gaslighters often twist the conversation to gain more power. Instead of defending your reality, focus on protecting it.
Limit your exposure if possible. Reducing contact or walking away from the conversation entirely may be the most protective choice for your mental health.
You don’t need to prove your truth to someone who’s committed to denying it. You deserve peace more than you need their approval.
What to Say to Someone Who Gaslights You
If you do choose to speak up, keep your responses grounded, clear, and brief. Some examples might be:
“I’m clear on what I experienced, even if you remember it differently.”
“I won’t keep explaining myself.”
“This conversation isn’t productive for me, so I’m stepping away.”
You don’t ave to argue or justify your reality. You don’t need to win. You just need to stay true to yourself, and that’s enough.
If the person continues to gaslight you or becomes emotionally unsafe, it’s okay to disengage. Protecting your mental and emotional health is not selfish. It’s sacred.
Why Gaslighting Hurts So Deeply—Especially for Trauma Survivors
If you’ve experienced past trauma, especially from relationships where trust and safety were violated, gaslighting can feel especially painful. It doesn’t just hurt in the present, it can reactivate old wounds.
For many survivors, gaslighting echoes familiar experiences: not being believed, having your emotions dismissed, or feeling invisible. It reinforces the false belief that your reality isn’t valid, or that you aren’t valid.
But you are.
This is where trauma therapy in Atlanta can make a profound difference. A trauma-informed therapist can help you reconnect with your own voice, rebuild trust in yourself, and gently process the pain gaslighting has caused.
Healing is possible. Clarity is possible. And you don’t have to do it alone.
Final Thoughts from a Trauma Therapist in Atlanta
Gaslighting can leave you feeling foggy, unsure, and alone. But even when someone has tried to distort your truth, that truth still lives in you. And it is worth reclaiming.
As a trauma therapist in Atlanta, I help people just like you recognize the signs of emotional abuse, untangle from toxic dynamics, and rediscover their inner steadiness. You deserve to feel safe in your relationships—and safe in your own mind.
If you’re ready to begin healing from gaslighting or emotional trauma, trauma therapy can offer the support, tools, and compassion you need to reconnect with yourself.
You are not broken. You are not crazy. You are awakening to the truth, and that is a powerful thing.
Kristy Brewer is a therapist Atlanta offering online therapy in Georgia helping people find peace amidst the chaos. Her specialties include trauma therapy, attachment therapy for trauma within toxic relationships, anxiety therapy, depression therapy, and parents raising a traumatized child.
Request a free 15-minute phone consultation today by clicking here.
